n fine, after I had been in England a year and a half, in which time
I gave some half a score visits and went with my Lord's brother to hear
music in one Mr. Lawes's house, three or four times, as also some three
or four times to Hyde Park with my sisters, to take the air, else I never
stirred out of my lodgings unless to see my brothers and sisters, and selfom
did dress myself, taking no delight to adorn myself, since he I only desired
to please was absent, although report did dress me in a hundred several
fashions.
In part of the time I wrote a book of Poems and a little book called my
Philosophical Fancies, to which I have written a large addition since
I returned out of England, besides this book and one other. As for my book
entitled The World's Olio, I wrote most part of it before I went
into England.
But being not of a merry, although not of a froward or peevish disposition,
I became very melancholy by reason I was from my Lord, which made my mind
so restless that it did break my sleep and distemper my health; with which,
growing impatient of a longer delay, I resolved to return, although I was
grieved to leave Sir Charles, he being sick of an ague: of which sickness
he died: for though his ague was cured his life was decayed, for the dregs
of his ague did put out the lamp of his life . . . . Yet Heaven knows I
did not think his life was so near an end, for his doctor had great hopes
of his perfect recovery.
So I made haste to return to my Lord, with whom I had rather be as a poor
beggar than to be mistress of the world absented from him. Heaven hitherto
hath kept us, and though Fortune hath been cross yet we do submit and are
both content with what is and cannot be mended, and are so prepared, that
the worst of fortunes shall not afflict our minds so as to make us unhappy,
howsoever it doth pinch our lives with poverty. For, if tranquillity lives
in an honest mind the mind dwells in peace, although the body suffer. But
Patience hath armed us and Misery hath tried us and find us Fortune-proof.